Rebirth

As I was traveling Eastern Europe I stumbled upon a mosque. I was learning the magic of Arabic Letters at the time. I had been teaching myself basic Kabbalah and learning Hebrew shortly after I left high school so Arabic was always something I wanted to get into at some stage. It was because of my understanding of Kabbalah and because I understood Hebrew letters that I was able to catch onto the Arabic alphabet and it’s spelling rather fast. I had become incredibly interested in Esoteric Islam.

I was told by the Shaykh I was working with at the time that the spirits of the Sufic current are incredibly picky with “who they let into the fold” and if one has no direct connection to Arabic magic/culture they would have trouble penetrating the deeper mysteries, and may not be accepted by the spirits they wish to work with. Very serious practitioners of Voodoo would say the same thing about Loa. This made me incredibly interested to test myself to see where I could go and if I was deserving of moving forward into the work, so I went to said mosque. I was rather ignorant to many things at the time, and I had not much understanding of Islam outside of what I was taught by the person I was working with at the time. Still when I went to the mosque, I knew enough about Wudu to perform it properly at the fountains and I knew enough Salat to do it properly enough to get the attention of a man that was also there at the time. He told me I looked like I was a tourist and he thought I was just going in there to see what a mosque looks like; little did I know this was the beginning of my new life.

We spoke about the concept of lucid dreaming, and he told me he believed that dreams come from Allah. It wasn’t long after I was invited back to this mosque to take Shahada, which is the witnessing of God, to simplify its what it means to become Moslem, it is to witness God and experience true belief from experience, and not blind belief. I internally struggled with whether or not I wanted to join a religion, mostly because this took place in Bulgaria which is the birthplace of my physical vessel in this incarnation. My people were at one-point slaves to the Ottomans so there is a lot of racial tension and religious discrimination and issues to this day on both sides Christian Vs Moslem, Bulgarian Vs Turk or whatever. As if that bullshit really matters when it comes to God. Still, I knew I was going create tension in my family environment if I made this decision. I went on my balcony one night wondering what I should do and what the right decision for me was, and that’s when I saw something I could only label as a UFO.

This was an etheric object that for a brief moment turned from non-physical to physical. It had a black and white core that pulsed and radiated what looked like electricity, it was encased in a green and orange hue that turned the clouds green even after it vanished into nothingness after tearing open the sky. I’ve had plenty of visions and things of the nature but to me this was no vision this was a complete breach of physical reality by something that wasn’t from here. Anyone reading can take what I say with a grain of salt, but I am only sharing my experience and what I saw. It was then that I decided Islam and its esoteric mechanics were the more “modern” resurrection of the ancient Babylonian creed which has influenced me since I was incredibly young. One can say this is subjective view and, in a way, it is, but what we should strive for as esotericists is to align the subjective with the objective to form a worldview based on abstract truth rooted in logic analysis and reason, not imagination. I returned to said mosque shortly after and underwent Shahada.

Traditional Islam will probably say my reason is corrupted, haram etc and that’s fine. There are jinn who wish to serve God just as some humans do. What brings one closer to God might be different for others. I took my oaths to not only get closer to spirit but to break racial tension by being the only Moslem in my family in probably over 700-800 years (give or take) to convert willingly not from threat of beheading, or to die of beheading for rejection Islamic Creed. My people would call me a traitor and by some I would be entirely outcasted. It is up to us what we choose to sacrifice. For me it was walking a point of in betweenness that lead to such a choice. I would neither be accepted by traditional Islam, nor would I be accepted wholly by my own people, I would also become labeled an "Abrahamist" I guess I would call it by many "Left Hand Path" occultists, if they can truly even call themselves that. 

Welcome to our home, here at Emerald Scar Circle. 

ندبة الزمرد